Saturday, July 10, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
On Senti Mode
It's good to be back after a long hiatus! I've been focusing too much on my Dubai Odyssey blog that this one had to take the backseat.
The last two days (and I'm guessing this one too) have been awfully quiet so I've had time to focus more on my "project", i.e. writing and deleting the text messages of Mr. Stranger. I knew this was going to be a very emotional journey down memory lane - there were messages that were just plain funny, affectionate, silly and even angry. I am amazed at how we have extensively used this communication tool to convey our thoughts. A part of me is still sad at how things have become but I know this is the only way that we can both have some peace. Mind you, this task is as difficult as separating two magnets from each other. We have tried to distance ourselves several times but each time one fails, everything returns to where things once were.
Anyway, I'm digressing...I've managed to finish deleting the most recent ones and I felt I needed to take a break. As I was walking home, I decided to listen to my iPod and randomly picked songs from The Calling. I was shocked to find out that the lyrics of the songs very well matched my sentiments.
It all started with Stigmatized.
If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you
Chorus:
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized
I can feel the blood rushing though my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray
Chorus:
We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized
We'll live our lives
We'll take the punches everyday
We'll live our lives
I know we're gonna find our way
I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
Stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides
We're gonna live our lives
Gotta live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives,
Gonna live our lives
Stigmatized
And then I heard Could It Be Any Harder?
(fade away, fade away, fade away ahhah) x3
You left me with goodbye and open arms
A cut so deep I don't deserve
Well you were always invincible in my eyes
And the only thing against us now is time
Chorus :
Could it be any harder to say goodbye
live without you,
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day (fade away, fade away, fade away, ahhah)
I lie down and blind myself with laughter
Well a quick fix of hope is what I'm needin'
And how I wish that I could turn back the hours
But I know I just don't have the power yeah
Chorus :
Well I'd jump at the chance
We'd drink and we'd dance
And I'd listen close to your every word,
As if it's your last, but I know it's your last,
Cause today, oh, you're gone.
Could it be any harder (yeah fade away, fade away, fade away ohhhh)
Could it be any harder (yeah fade away, fade away, fade away)
Oh yeah yeah could it be any harder to live my life without you?
Could it be any harder? I'm all alone, I'm all alone.
Like sand on my feet
The smell of sweet perfume
You stick to me forever baby
I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go away
To touch you again,
With life in your hands.
It couldn't be any harder.. harder.. harder
(fade away, fade away, fade away, ahhhh) x3
By the time I arrived home and sat on my bed, I could not contain the tears anymore. I think there is still some anger left over what happened. Sometimes I wish I was just like any of his normal friends and not have had to encounter his dark side. Unfortunately, this was what happened and there is nothing else to do but wait for time to erase all the bad feelings about him. But until then, I will still be missing my makulit bear everytime the moon is full.
**Lyrics taken from www.sing365.com
The last two days (and I'm guessing this one too) have been awfully quiet so I've had time to focus more on my "project", i.e. writing and deleting the text messages of Mr. Stranger. I knew this was going to be a very emotional journey down memory lane - there were messages that were just plain funny, affectionate, silly and even angry. I am amazed at how we have extensively used this communication tool to convey our thoughts. A part of me is still sad at how things have become but I know this is the only way that we can both have some peace. Mind you, this task is as difficult as separating two magnets from each other. We have tried to distance ourselves several times but each time one fails, everything returns to where things once were.
Anyway, I'm digressing...I've managed to finish deleting the most recent ones and I felt I needed to take a break. As I was walking home, I decided to listen to my iPod and randomly picked songs from The Calling. I was shocked to find out that the lyrics of the songs very well matched my sentiments.
It all started with Stigmatized.
If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you
Chorus:
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized
I can feel the blood rushing though my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray
Chorus:
We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized
We'll live our lives
We'll take the punches everyday
We'll live our lives
I know we're gonna find our way
I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
Stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides
We're gonna live our lives
Gotta live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives,
Gonna live our lives
Stigmatized
And then I heard Could It Be Any Harder?
(fade away, fade away, fade away ahhah) x3
You left me with goodbye and open arms
A cut so deep I don't deserve
Well you were always invincible in my eyes
And the only thing against us now is time
Chorus :
Could it be any harder to say goodbye
live without you,
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day (fade away, fade away, fade away, ahhah)
I lie down and blind myself with laughter
Well a quick fix of hope is what I'm needin'
And how I wish that I could turn back the hours
But I know I just don't have the power yeah
Chorus :
Well I'd jump at the chance
We'd drink and we'd dance
And I'd listen close to your every word,
As if it's your last, but I know it's your last,
Cause today, oh, you're gone.
Could it be any harder (yeah fade away, fade away, fade away ohhhh)
Could it be any harder (yeah fade away, fade away, fade away)
Oh yeah yeah could it be any harder to live my life without you?
Could it be any harder? I'm all alone, I'm all alone.
Like sand on my feet
The smell of sweet perfume
You stick to me forever baby
I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go away
To touch you again,
With life in your hands.
It couldn't be any harder.. harder.. harder
(fade away, fade away, fade away, ahhhh) x3
By the time I arrived home and sat on my bed, I could not contain the tears anymore. I think there is still some anger left over what happened. Sometimes I wish I was just like any of his normal friends and not have had to encounter his dark side. Unfortunately, this was what happened and there is nothing else to do but wait for time to erase all the bad feelings about him. But until then, I will still be missing my makulit bear everytime the moon is full.
**Lyrics taken from www.sing365.com
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