Monday, April 18, 2011

I Miss My Kanin!

Today, I did not eat rice.  Breakfast consisted of one cup of organic muesli with non-fat milk.  I felt like a cow chewing grass - mechanically making chewing motions and swallowing afterwards.  There were some tasty bits but man, it was tasteless and boring for the most part.  Ah well, maybe I should put more fruit to make it a little more interesting!  That was the hardest one cup of anything that I ever ate!


Lunch fare consisted of my shrimp and egg salad a piece of whole wheat organic Arabic bread and a banana.  Definitely better than breakfast, save for the fact that the bread was a bit soggy from the salad.  Note to self:  pack them separately.  


I also had organic chips (or crisps if you're British) in sour cream and onion flavor just to satisfy the muncher in me.

I don't know if my body was still on vacation mode or it just probably got the shock of its life that I fell asleep as soon as I hit my bed.  I wake up some 2 hours later to put eye drops again, not feeling very hungry, strangely enough. However, I figured that if I did not eat anything tonight, I would probably wake up in the middle of the night, hunger pangs too great to ignore!  I ate another banana and downed it with non-fat milk.


The rest of my flatmates were eating deep-fried pork.  The aroma of it just made my mouth water but hey, I am not going to be weak on my first day!  I will probably be a grumpy woman by Easter next week!  Hahaha!


All in all, I would say I did well on my first day of a what is to be a "very challenging week".  I think this is my way of making up for the excess that was the Manila-Singapore holiday, a chance for me to reintroduce control in my life (I have been leaning towards giving in to all things convenient - literally and figuratively - recently) and deciding to take the Lenten sacrifice to another level by not just skipping meat on Good Friday but for the entire Holy Week as well.  (That was a looonnng sentence - my English teachers will not be pleased!)  Taking inspiration from the special airline meals I have taken in the last 2 weeks, I am trying to experiment with a healthier way of eating.  I have learned that I can still feel full just by eating small portions of a variety of things.  I still cringe on the thought that I will be eating more veggies and fruits but with this no meat thing, my choices are more limited.  


I may have missed my kanin today but tomorrow I will put that back in the menu but in smaller quantities.  (OK, maybe I will start with just one cup and then maybe half a cup next time - I will be going mental if the move is too drastic!).  All I can say is, so help me God.  Hahahaha!  

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

On Senti Mode

It's good to be back after a long hiatus!  I've been focusing too much on my Dubai Odyssey blog that this one had to take the backseat. 

The last two days (and I'm guessing this one too) have been awfully quiet so I've had time to focus more on my "project", i.e. writing and deleting the text messages of Mr. Stranger.  I knew this was going to be a very emotional journey down memory lane - there were messages that were just plain funny, affectionate, silly and even angry.  I am amazed at how we have extensively used this communication tool to convey our thoughts.  A part of me is still sad at how things have become but I know this is the only way that we can both have some peace.  Mind you, this task is as difficult as separating two magnets from each other.  We have tried to distance ourselves several times but each time one fails, everything returns to where things once were. 

Anyway, I'm digressing...I've managed to finish deleting the most recent ones and I felt I needed to take a break.  As I was walking home, I decided to listen to my iPod and randomly picked songs from The Calling.  I was shocked to find out that the lyrics of the songs very well matched my sentiments.

It all started with Stigmatized

If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you


Chorus:
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized

I can feel the blood rushing though my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray


Chorus:
We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized


We'll live our lives
We'll take the punches everyday
We'll live our lives
I know we're gonna find our way


I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
Stigmatized


We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides
We're gonna live our lives
Gotta live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives,
Gonna live our lives
Stigmatized

And then I heard Could It Be Any Harder?

(fade away, fade away, fade away ahhah) x3

You left me with goodbye and open arms
A cut so deep I don't deserve
Well you were always invincible in my eyes
And the only thing against us now is time


Chorus :
Could it be any harder to say goodbye
live without you,
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day (fade away, fade away, fade away, ahhah)


I lie down and blind myself with laughter
Well a quick fix of hope is what I'm needin'
And how I wish that I could turn back the hours
But I know I just don't have the power yeah

Chorus :
Well I'd jump at the chance
We'd drink and we'd dance
And I'd listen close to your every word,
As if it's your last, but I know it's your last,
Cause today, oh, you're gone.


Could it be any harder (yeah fade away, fade away, fade away ohhhh)
Could it be any harder (yeah fade away, fade away, fade away)
Oh yeah yeah could it be any harder to live my life without you?
Could it be any harder? I'm all alone, I'm all alone.


Like sand on my feet
The smell of sweet perfume
You stick to me forever baby
I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go away
To touch you again,
With life in your hands.
It couldn't be any harder.. harder.. harder
(fade away, fade away, fade away, ahhhh) x3

By the time I arrived home and sat on my bed, I could not contain the tears anymore.  I think there is still some anger left over what happened.  Sometimes I wish I was just like any of his normal friends and not have had to encounter his dark side.  Unfortunately, this was what happened and there is nothing else to do but wait for time to erase all the bad feelings about him.  But until then, I will still be missing my makulit bear everytime the moon is full.

**Lyrics taken from www.sing365.com

Thursday, July 3, 2008

CHARGEBACK ROMA IS SIGNING OFF...

Note: This was my farewell message sent on June 30, my last day at the world's local bank.

Finally, I can now sleep. The days leading to my filing for resignation last May 30 up until today were filled with anxiety. First, I was stumped because I did not know what to write in the letter. The next obstacle was how to tell my bosses and later on, the team. I thought about who my successor will be, the turnover of responsibilities, cleaning and clearing my perpetually messy desk and finally, writing my farewell message. As a result, I’ve had pimple after pimple and my skin allergies have become active again. I therefore conclude that resignation is bad for the skin (for mine, at least).

Finally, I don’t have to wake up at 4:30 a.m. Yes, you read that right. I live in Marilao, Bulacan where everything is two hours away (except SM Marilao, of course). To get to work, I have to endure a 5-minute tricycle ride, a 30-minute jeepney ride, a 10-minute taxi ride, a 25-minute MRT ride and lastly, a 15-minute bus ride to the Fort. Exhausting? Not quite. Just imagine the time spent in between each ride, waiting in line with the rest of humanity. That, to me, is more tiring. Try doing that routine again going home and I assure you, it will not always be a pleasant experience. However, like a good soldier, I get to the office at 7:30ish, rain or shine, albeit looking a little harassed. No worries, as I still have time to take a nap, put on makeup or even have a second round of breakfast (the first round is for getting me through the commute). Today, with my resignation, RBS will be saying goodbye to one of its resident early birds.

I will leave HSBC in my attempt to fulfill my dream of seeing the world. My journey will begin in the hot sands of Dubai, where I hope to find a new career path (and perhaps a man..hehehe). I am fortunate to have family who will take care of me while I embark on this adventure.

When I first arrived at the doorsteps of Chargeback three years ago, I knew nothing about the banking industry. Working for two-and-a-half years in a call centre, I was a Senior Workforce Analyst before I joined HSBC. Ask me how many calls the centre was going to receive for the day and I could tell you. Given the forecast, I can determine how many people should be taking calls inorder to “save each half-hour” and ensure that the SLAs are met. Ask me what chargeback is and how long that takes and my face will go blank. I do have a good ear for all sorts of American and British accents and I can adopt them if I have to, but if I will be asked to recompute finance charges or do N531 entries in HUB and HCC, I’ll surely be dead. The call centre environment was very laidback. My perception of a bank was very stiff and formal. I was chatty and cheeky Qdesk Roma. What will I be in HSBC?

I was to learn HCC screens, N531 entries and chargeback reason codes in two weeks. I had to, because my predecessor Joy, was scheduled to move to another department in that span of time. I remember dreading coming to work everyday (the skirts and stockings, which were the prescribed attire then, were not very commuter-friendly and thus added to the stress), my heart jumping every time the phone rang. It was like being quizzed everyday, and I was not exactly sure if I knew the proper answer to the question that the person was asking on the other line. I was a newbie again, and by the end of those two weeks I was ready to give up. Fortunately, three weeks later, another newbie came, and then another, and another. Hooray for new friends!

Those two weeks became three long years of filing chargebacks, attending to the inquiries from anyone and everyone, forming friendships both inside and outside the bank and yes, even performing the much-dreaded N531 entries. I would then like to take this opportunity to thank those who have been part of my journey here in HSBC.

To Kath and Gene who acted as my parents here in Chargeback, thank you for equipping me with the knowledge and skills to survive for the last three years. I appreciate the opportunities you have given me because through them, I was able to discover more about myself. I entered Chargeback as a writer and now I am leaving as a trainer.

To the Chargeback team who treated me like family, thank you for your continued support. You have been a witness to each smile, laughter, tear and even fits of anger and frustration (read: table-pounding moments). I would not have gotten this far without your encouragement.

To Suzette, I am thankful that I have found a kindred spirit in you. The last year was indeed a struggle and I would like you to know that I found comfort in the thought that I will be seeing you in the morning and everything will be more bearable. I have found my strength in you just as you have found your strength in me. Most of what I know about MasterCard, I owe to you. I will miss our conversations, no matter how silly or serious they were. I am truly, truly blessed with your friendship.

To the MRT girls, Macy, Rica and Chum, thank you for making the commute a more enjoyable experience. Thanks to the long queues for the Fort Bus and the MRT, we have become good friends. (Yes, the commute is that loooonnnggg, long enough to form strong friendships.)

To the CFMS team, thank you for keeping me on my toes. I don’t know which is worse, getting a heart attack from the prompts every morning or seeing you in the elevator, the bathroom or the various dining places. Seriously now, I have come to see you as friends, which make work less stressful. Thank you for helping me out during the Citibank error phenomenon. I too, share in your happiness whenever a case is closed. ;)

To the people over at Fin, thanks for patiently entertaining my questions about, you guessed it, N531 entries! :) I admire the work that you put into what you do. Thank you for the encouragement and the new learnings!

To the Premier RMs, oh how we hate lost cards! Haha! I know it is not always easy to explain the procedures and policies to the clients. I appreciate the effort you put into your job.

To Dax and Pete, thank you for further sparking my interest in photography. Your words of encouragement have certainly boosted my confidence in taking pictures.

To my counterparts in Indonesia, Singapore, Brunei and Sri Lanka, through you I have learned a lot about different cultures, probably even more than what can be read from books. Our regular conversations have made me more appreciative of the richness and diversity of your countries. I hope that you have also gained a better understanding of Filipinos and of the Philippines. My sweets may have reached your shores first but I am hopeful that I will all get to meet you someday. Thank you for sharing your language too. Do keep in touch! Terima kasih. Isthuthee. Salamat. Thank you.

To friends and acquaintances whose paths I have crossed with, it’s been a pleasure knowing and working with like-minded individuals. I have thrived for three years because of your willingness to reciprocate the warmth and friendship that I have freely extended.

I still find it surreal that I am writing this now. I am leaving HSBC as a Senior Chargeback Analyst (It seems that I always end up a Senior Analyst…hehe). I am proud of what I have achieved but I am even happier that I have made many friends both inside and outside the bank. I will always be proud and happy to be known as Chargeback Roma.

In the zodiac, Scorpio (my sign) is considered the sign of transformation. Like a phoenix, I must heed the call to transform. Many have asked my feelings regarding this big change. I am a bit frightened but I only have to think of the good words and warm wishes that you have all offered. Excuse me while I make yet another leap into the fire. It is my fervent hope that I will again rise from the ashes, find my wings and soar to greater heights.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Today... 16 June 2008

Today, I got up a full 15 minutes earlier than my usual waking time of 4:30am. The first thing that I said was, “Ang init!”

Today, I hardly slept. I had difficulty sleeping the night before, as is the case every Sunday. In addition to that, I was repeatedly roused by text messages at 12:30 am and 2:00 am. The latter said that the postcards my friend got for me got torn. It was his way of telling me that he was already back from the US to bug me with mindless text messages like the one that I had just received. Point taken.

Today, I counted 10 cats on my way to work. I consider it a good day when I at least see 4 cats. What else can a boring Monday bring?

Today, I was too tired to put on make up. I did not care that I looked pale nor did I mind that a few stray baby hairs were crowning my head already.

Today, my goddaughter Elisha officially turns two years old. My other goddaughter, Yuki, is officially six months old. I, on the other hand, just turned 27 years and 7 months old. I am just 5 months shy of my 28th birthday.

Today, I realized that I only have 2 more Mondays left in HSBC. That leaves me with 10 more banking days to work. My stint with the world’s local bank ends on June 30, 2008.

Today, a friend told me about an opening in Dubai.

Today, over at lunch, my officemates and I discuss our trips abroad and how our travels open our eyes to new realities. Again, we shake our heads and concede that the Philippines is going nowhere. Today, we realize that it is time to look beyond the confines of our own country for a better future.

Today, people approached me and asked about my impending resignation. Today, I had to again explain my reason for leaving. The reaction of course was all too familiar: the initial shock, followed by sadness, then excitement and in the end they all wished me well.

Today, I realize that a surprise is a surprise. That surprise came via a phone call from a beautiful stranger. He asked if I was free to join him for dinner. I was shocked as I was in the middle of reconstructing a cardholder’s letter. I had looked forward to going home at 7 pm. Faced with a decision, I just closed my eyes and said yes. People at work became curious who was on the other end of the line. They probably saw that I was a bit dumbstruck. Soon, everyone got kilig (Why do I always get that kind of reaction?). Someone started playing some cheesy love songs. Another opened my multiply page to play the songs that I have previously recorded. Almost the entire floor heard them. I was mortified that people were hearing my voice and I was embarrassed from their occasional teasing about this person inviting me to dinner. Suddenly I found myself in a sitcom-like situation. My female boss behaved like a mom and said I should fix myself. My male boss acted like a father and kept asking about this guy. All the rest were like members of my family, dishing out advice one after the other. Everyone looked as I left my table and they were all cheering and smiling at me. It was bizarre.

Today, I had to face the surprise, and luckily, I enjoyed it. Strangely, today was exactly a month after my first dinner with the beautiful stranger. Almost two hours were spent just having great conversations about our lives in the past, the present and the future. It was another great opportunity to know each other better. I had my share of Middle East and Diving 101. We learned about each other’s family, friends, work, the concept of beauty, food, relationships, etc. etc! Story after story and question over question poured over a hearty dinner of crispy tadyang and green mango with bagoong. Yum.

Today, I realized that I love to be around people who have lived abroad and/or who have traveled extensively. I relish the wealth of perspective that they give me and I appreciate their open-mindedness over anything and everything immensely.

Today, I am tired but I am happy.

Today, I am blessed.

This was written last night before I slept. Ü

Sunday, March 2, 2008

what My Birthday (November 16) Means

This was actually taken from a Facebook Quiz..


You always follow the good and the right instead of listening to your heart. Another word, you are a perfectionist. You care for every word people say about you. You often seen isolated while you are, by nature, curious and a dreamer who is ready to get over the edge to make your dream comes true. Your Love, You often fall in love with a person who is much different from you, in age and other aspects. Your relationship grows on friendship. Love at fist sight is not your style.

Monday, February 18, 2008

In Focus: Marc Nelson and Rovilson Fernandez of The Amazing Race Asia 2

In the team's profile, Rovilson was quoted as saying this: "We promise you the most animated, exciting, lovable, huggable and most fun team on The Amazing Race Asia." Now that the race is officially over, it is good to note that these two delivered on their promise. Not only were they the most animated, exciting, lovable, huggable and most fun. They were also, in my opinion at least, the most consistent and most sportsmanlike. They never bickered with each other and were out to really have a great time (how about dancing on a pole to earn some extra cash?). They treated each task as an opportunity to test their character rather than see it as another chore. I even have the feeling that they had the most fun in the race. No wonder a lot of people were rooting for this dynamic duo!!!

Watching the finale last Thursday was a harrowing experience for me. Rushing from work and being the first to arrive home, I immediately turned on the TV. I was just in time for the show, yey! For the next hour, I watched, mesmerized and forgetting to eat dinner. I was glad that they were leading for most of the race. Maybe, just maybe, they really have a good shot at winning the prize. I remained hopeful despite the gnawing feeling that the Singapore team would win (I knew it the minute I saw their Sony commercial). Then the Roadblock came. I was screaming at the top of my lungs out of frustration as Rovilson struggled to match the flags. I was putting myself in the shoes of these two and wondered how excruciating this must be for them. My heart literally ached as I saw the gym buddies and the sisters finish the task and hurriedly scrambled to the final pitstop.

However, in a rare display of magnanimity despite the inevitable loss, Marc and Rovilson ran with the Philippine flag in tow. When they reached the pitstop, the two gleefully jumped and shouted the usual, "Base!!!". After Allan Wu announced that they finished third place, the two humbly said, "We'll take it!", hugged and congratulated each other for a job well done. Allan even praised the two by saying, "No team was even near the caliber of you two."

This was the scene that will really stick in my memory. Despite being heartbroken with the sudden turn of events, I felt proud with how Marc and Rovilson finished the race. They were proud to represent the Philippines. They even sported the flag on their bags. It could not get more nationalistic than that. They wanted everybody to know that Team Philippines was a force to reckon with, and I think everybody acknowledged that. It is ironic how these two can represent this country so well, even better than the full-blooded Pinoy. Marc is an Aussie with no trace of Filipino blood and Rovilson is I think a Filipino-American. To a certain extent, they are giving something back to the country that has been so good to them. Perhaps Filipinos can learn a thing or two from these buddies.

They may not have ended up as the grand prize winners of the race, but what matters more is how they were able to, and I shall quote Marc this time, "play the game the way our parents raised us to play the game of life." In a country whose citizens are pining for new heroes, these two inspire us to not only give but also be the best that we can ever be. At a time when it seems that there is nothing that the Filipino can be proud of, their victory can be considered a remarkable milestone. To Marc and Rovilson, thank you for making the Filipinos proud once again.